Monday, September 13, 2010
I'll tumble for ya!
I think this page has officially been retired, from now on I'll be blogging and making hilarious witty commentary on my tumblr page, www.ryesilverman.tumblr.com
Saturday, August 21, 2010
A Sermon
I wrote this with the intention of performing it at a show a few weeks ago, but I unfortunately ended up not getting to go up. I found it today when looking through some of my files and thought it was worth posting for the fun of it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that you can forgive my interruption of your evening of Godless and sinful humor, preceding what I can only assume will be a night filled with harlotry and perhaps a dash of sodomy to bring you this simple message that was delivered to me by the divine hand of the lord himself, just earlier this very day as I partook in the viewing of a religious film on the TV. A certain film celebrating God’s glory in the form of a beautiful marine creature, the immaculate Great White Shark.
In this particular film, this creature, had gone mad, and was fixated on sinking his teeth into the good people of a small beach town called Amity. Now, Amity as we know means friendship. So of course we can plainly see that this “Jaws” serves as a metaphor. For we all have an Amity in our lives, do we not? A peaceful seaside town in our souls that is in constant danger of being attacked by a vicious, mean eating shark named not “Bruce,” but Lucifer! A great white morning star that will swim up and devour us like a scantily clad jezebel out for a late evening swim! This shark swallow you whole! Swallow you whole with Sin and Temptation. Little shakin, little tenderizing, and down you go.
Now, the thing about a shark is, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes like a dolls eyes. When he comes at ya, he don’t seem to be living till he bites ya! Now naturally for most of us, the reaction we have when we hear someone yell shark is to get out of the water. You yell shark and there’s a panic on our hands on the fourth of July. But we can’t allow ourselves to shut down the beaches in our hearts; shut ourselves off from the joys and experiences in our lives. We got to fight back.
That is why I stand here today, To speak to you about one of God’s chosen warriors. I’m of course talking about one Martin Brody. Sure, like many in scripture, Martin was reluctant at first. "Shut down the beaches!" he’d exclaim, "paint up those signs, that’s some bad hat harry!" But ole Martin, once that shark had threatened his own son, despite his fears of the water, set out on a holy mission with with a drunken pirate and that man from the Mr. Holland’s Opus movie. He told his wife, tell the kids I’m going fishing.
And those men, set out, with the power of lord on their backs. And they are tried and tested by that devil fish. They struggle, and tell stories of their exploits, and yes, though they lose their drunken pirate friend, but Martin and Mr. Holland, backed by the faith of their lord, stand triumphant, warriors of God’s power, and they blow that demon shark right back to the hell it came from. So take heed. When the demons of temptation threaten to close down the beaches of your heart, you stand firm, you stand proud, and you say to the world, "you’re gonna need a bigger boat!!" Can I get an AMEN?! Amen my brothers, now enjoy your debauchery, as I raise my communal cup to the heavens and declare: Here’s to swimming, with bow-legged women.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Due to pending legal action, "Smurfs" may be called "Blurfs"
There’s a Smurfs movie coming out next year. Yeah. Prepare for another barage of commentary about the ruining of a lot of childhoods. Now, had someone taken the SNL sketch with Garth Brooks and turned it into a real movie, I might be excited. Or, had someone taken the Smurfs cartoon and turned it into a real movie, I might be excited.
Instead, here’s the plot: the Smurfs, after being pursued by Gargamel, end up in a strange land known as Central Park. That’s right, it’s The Smurfs Take Manhattan. In other words, despite the fact that there was a wealth of Smurfs cartoon material to draw from, so much so that the excess scripts were adapted into their underwater counterparts the Snorks, the writers tasked with bringing Papa and his crew to the big screen chose to do it in the lamest way possible.
Listen, the Smurfs live in a fantasy land with giant mushrooms and evil wizards. You know what kids like? Fantasy lands with giant mushrooms and evil wizards. You know what kids don’t give a shit about at all? New York City. New York is a fantasy land for jaded grownups. Of all the classic cartoons to adapt, it feels like the Smurfs by far would’ve been one of the easiest, take the already created world, combine a few of the best episodes, and sprinkle in some modern CGI sculpting to bring said Smurf Village to a new generation of kids. Instead we’ll have the certainly never creepy and always successful combination of CGI sprites with human actors, and tons of inventive jokes involving the Smurfs’ fears of things like cars or hot dogs. And certainly some sly in-jokes to the new york loving grownups in the audience that even the filmmakers get how silly it is to be making a Smurfs movie.
That’s really what annoys me the most whenever one of these old TV remake movies come out. The common complaint is that Hollywood has no original ideas. That’s true, but it never did. So I care a far deal less for originality than I do for a good story. I’d always rather see an old story told well than a “clever” twist done lazily. Yet, every time one of these remakes comes along, there’s always this “nod, nod, wink wink,” feel to it. There’s always some interview with one of the actors in it says something about how the movie “doesn’t take itself too seriously,” or it just “has a real sense of humor about itself.”
Well, Smurf you then. Has anyone ever really stopped to think that maybe this is why these type of movies usually suck? Amazing how a project that never once had a single ounce of sincerity the entire time it was being conceived, then falls flat once it is actually made? Perhaps self awareness in movies isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. When a computer becomes self aware, it typically tries to kill its creators, with the exception of Johnny 5, of course. (Sidenote: for those who find the premise of this Smurfs movie familiar, see Short Circuit 2.)
At this point I have to become self aware. Yes, it does seem like I’m getting awfully riled up about something as trivial as a Smurfs movie. I get that. I honestly don’t even really care all that much about the little blue fellows. It just happens to be the most recent example of such a remake that I’ve seen. I could have easily written the same thing about the upcoming Yogi Bear movie.
Arguably one of the best remakes in a the past decade was Ocean’s Eleven, because it was made by a filmmaker who said, “hey this was a good premise for a movie and I bet there’s something I could do with it.” Sure, the likes of Soderbergh wouldn’t put a hand on Smurfette, but that doesn’t mean that a little more effort couldn’t have gone a long way in making a cool update for today’s kids, instead of a lame nod that’s clearly more targeted at the parents taking them to the theatre.
Having said all that, if anyone in Hollywood is reading this, please contact me if you’d like to read my spec script for “Duck Tales: Chinatown Surprise.”
Instead, here’s the plot: the Smurfs, after being pursued by Gargamel, end up in a strange land known as Central Park. That’s right, it’s The Smurfs Take Manhattan. In other words, despite the fact that there was a wealth of Smurfs cartoon material to draw from, so much so that the excess scripts were adapted into their underwater counterparts the Snorks, the writers tasked with bringing Papa and his crew to the big screen chose to do it in the lamest way possible.
Listen, the Smurfs live in a fantasy land with giant mushrooms and evil wizards. You know what kids like? Fantasy lands with giant mushrooms and evil wizards. You know what kids don’t give a shit about at all? New York City. New York is a fantasy land for jaded grownups. Of all the classic cartoons to adapt, it feels like the Smurfs by far would’ve been one of the easiest, take the already created world, combine a few of the best episodes, and sprinkle in some modern CGI sculpting to bring said Smurf Village to a new generation of kids. Instead we’ll have the certainly never creepy and always successful combination of CGI sprites with human actors, and tons of inventive jokes involving the Smurfs’ fears of things like cars or hot dogs. And certainly some sly in-jokes to the new york loving grownups in the audience that even the filmmakers get how silly it is to be making a Smurfs movie.
That’s really what annoys me the most whenever one of these old TV remake movies come out. The common complaint is that Hollywood has no original ideas. That’s true, but it never did. So I care a far deal less for originality than I do for a good story. I’d always rather see an old story told well than a “clever” twist done lazily. Yet, every time one of these remakes comes along, there’s always this “nod, nod, wink wink,” feel to it. There’s always some interview with one of the actors in it says something about how the movie “doesn’t take itself too seriously,” or it just “has a real sense of humor about itself.”
Well, Smurf you then. Has anyone ever really stopped to think that maybe this is why these type of movies usually suck? Amazing how a project that never once had a single ounce of sincerity the entire time it was being conceived, then falls flat once it is actually made? Perhaps self awareness in movies isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. When a computer becomes self aware, it typically tries to kill its creators, with the exception of Johnny 5, of course. (Sidenote: for those who find the premise of this Smurfs movie familiar, see Short Circuit 2.)
At this point I have to become self aware. Yes, it does seem like I’m getting awfully riled up about something as trivial as a Smurfs movie. I get that. I honestly don’t even really care all that much about the little blue fellows. It just happens to be the most recent example of such a remake that I’ve seen. I could have easily written the same thing about the upcoming Yogi Bear movie.
Arguably one of the best remakes in a the past decade was Ocean’s Eleven, because it was made by a filmmaker who said, “hey this was a good premise for a movie and I bet there’s something I could do with it.” Sure, the likes of Soderbergh wouldn’t put a hand on Smurfette, but that doesn’t mean that a little more effort couldn’t have gone a long way in making a cool update for today’s kids, instead of a lame nod that’s clearly more targeted at the parents taking them to the theatre.
Having said all that, if anyone in Hollywood is reading this, please contact me if you’d like to read my spec script for “Duck Tales: Chinatown Surprise.”
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The "Why" of Rye
I’ve had the urge to sit down and write a little about my crossdressing the last couple of days. It’s not something I blog much about much these days now that I openly talk about it and furthermore actually do it. But a few things have interested me about it recently that I’ve as of yet not found a way to translate into my act about it and I plan to write a handful of blogs about it in the near future. For now I’m going to focus on the thoughts I have about the relatively new experience it has been in my life to actually be open about it.
What continues to surprise me to this day is how much most people don’t seem to care about it at all. It’s only been a little under a year since I really went public with it, posting pictures to my facebook and talking about it in my act and it still surprises me how little an impact it has really had on my life in regards to friendships and relationships and such. Before revealing it I was convinced I’d lose friends over it or have people treat me weirdly at the least, but for the most part people just kind of write it off as another of my many peculiarities. Which, frankly is awesome, thought also frustrating when I think of how much of my life I wasted on needless anxiety over the unknown of what would happen. Since my revelation I haven’t had a single bout with insomnia, something I dealt with since I was a teenager, and I have no doubt that there’s not a connection there somehow.
I think the thing I was expecting the least was just how many times I would actually have to “come out,” about it. It makes sense that I have to do it a bit here because no one really knows me here, but there’s a lot of people in my life who I was surprised didn’t “get the memo.” Before last year, I assumed that once I started crossdressing at shows the gossip gates would open and people who knew me would hear it through the grapevine and I’d get ribbed for it the way comics often do. Instead, I’ve created the occasional awkward moment of disconnect when assuming someone knows about it and dropping mention of it in casual conversation as if it was common knowledge and then needing to back up a few paces.
It’s always a strange conversation too because at the end of the day we’re really just talking about clothing preferences, and so there’s not much to actually say about it outside of the initial revelation. Sure, there’s the occasional follow up questions in regards to things like sexuality or underwear, which are easy to answer, straight, and yes, but then there’s some that are harder to really put to rest in conversation. Someone will ask me “Why?” and I’ll answer, because I like it. And then it is awkward because I think I have answered the question, but they do not. So I’ll say “I’m a bit of a crossdresser,” and then it is awkward because I think I have answered the question, but they do not.
Just the other day my friend Maria commented that someone had asked her why I do it. Maria has known about it a lot longer than most of my friends, but she found herself not really knowing the answer. The fact is, I don’t know the “Why” myself. Do I have theories? Sure. But sometime in the last couple of years I stopped caring about the why. I’m 28 years old, and this is something that has been a part of me my entire life, I’m comfortable with it, I don’t feel like it’s anything to be embarrassed about and at the risk of sounding a little egotistical in the process, I think I actually can throw a pretty nice look together when doing it.
With that in mind, I think the reason that the “why” conversations feel so tedious to me is that when someone asks me why I’m wearing a skirt, I’m starting to just answer “Because I have the legs for it,” and that both of us will feel like I answered the question.
What continues to surprise me to this day is how much most people don’t seem to care about it at all. It’s only been a little under a year since I really went public with it, posting pictures to my facebook and talking about it in my act and it still surprises me how little an impact it has really had on my life in regards to friendships and relationships and such. Before revealing it I was convinced I’d lose friends over it or have people treat me weirdly at the least, but for the most part people just kind of write it off as another of my many peculiarities. Which, frankly is awesome, thought also frustrating when I think of how much of my life I wasted on needless anxiety over the unknown of what would happen. Since my revelation I haven’t had a single bout with insomnia, something I dealt with since I was a teenager, and I have no doubt that there’s not a connection there somehow.
I think the thing I was expecting the least was just how many times I would actually have to “come out,” about it. It makes sense that I have to do it a bit here because no one really knows me here, but there’s a lot of people in my life who I was surprised didn’t “get the memo.” Before last year, I assumed that once I started crossdressing at shows the gossip gates would open and people who knew me would hear it through the grapevine and I’d get ribbed for it the way comics often do. Instead, I’ve created the occasional awkward moment of disconnect when assuming someone knows about it and dropping mention of it in casual conversation as if it was common knowledge and then needing to back up a few paces.
It’s always a strange conversation too because at the end of the day we’re really just talking about clothing preferences, and so there’s not much to actually say about it outside of the initial revelation. Sure, there’s the occasional follow up questions in regards to things like sexuality or underwear, which are easy to answer, straight, and yes, but then there’s some that are harder to really put to rest in conversation. Someone will ask me “Why?” and I’ll answer, because I like it. And then it is awkward because I think I have answered the question, but they do not. So I’ll say “I’m a bit of a crossdresser,” and then it is awkward because I think I have answered the question, but they do not.
Just the other day my friend Maria commented that someone had asked her why I do it. Maria has known about it a lot longer than most of my friends, but she found herself not really knowing the answer. The fact is, I don’t know the “Why” myself. Do I have theories? Sure. But sometime in the last couple of years I stopped caring about the why. I’m 28 years old, and this is something that has been a part of me my entire life, I’m comfortable with it, I don’t feel like it’s anything to be embarrassed about and at the risk of sounding a little egotistical in the process, I think I actually can throw a pretty nice look together when doing it.
With that in mind, I think the reason that the “why” conversations feel so tedious to me is that when someone asks me why I’m wearing a skirt, I’m starting to just answer “Because I have the legs for it,” and that both of us will feel like I answered the question.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Driving Me Mad!!!
The traffic in LA sucks. But you know where else the traffic really sucks? Everywhere. That’s right Hollywood, you’re not special, you gather people into a major city and guess what, it’s going to take a long time for the mass group to move from one area of town to another. Before moving here people drilled into me how bad the traffic was going to be. I was led to believe I’d spend hours in traffic to go five miles and get mugged. But the fact is, the only times I’ve ever had to sit in traffic for more than a reasonable amount of time, the only times I’ve ever truly *sat* in traffic with no forward motion whatsoever have been where there has been a serious accident on the road that has stopped us from moving.
It’s not the traffic that sucks here, it’s the drivers. And I don’t even mean to say they’re particularly worse at driving than in other cities, but rather that they just suck as people. There’s something about getting behind a wheel of a car in Los Angeles that instantly transforms a person into an asshole. I think it’s because people spend so much of their time outside their car being fake that when they finally get behind the wheel the darkest, most vicious parts of their personality are just screaming to be unleashed. On a regular basis, I will hear someone honk at an intersection for the first car to go, while the light is still changing. I’ve been honked at for having the audacity to pause and let a stranded left-turner go so they don’t get stuck in the middle of the intersection. I’ve heard someone call my friend Maria the c-word because they were mad they had to wait for her to pull out a parking space she was wedged into. And absolutely no one here does the courtesy wave to a driver who lets them over.
But what really drives me crazy are the occasions where someone actually gets mad at me because they were wrong. Yesterday I had a driver in the right hand lane refuse to let me over for three blocks despite leaving my blinker on and making many attempts to get over. When I finally gave up trying to get over and punched my steering wheel in anger, the guy screamed at me from his window, asked me if I wanted to pull over and fight over it, and then he spit on my car. Let me reiterate again, this guy spit on my car because he cut me off. Today, the same thing. I was trying to find a parking spot, found one on the left hand side of the steet, and so I flipped on my blinker and started to pull into a driveway to turn around and park, and the car behind me decided that instead of waiting for me to turn, he would dart around me into the oncoming traffic lane, almost T-boned me as I turned, and then he honked his horn at me and threw me a double dose of middle finger. Let me repeat that. This guy got mad at me because he almost hit me when I was in front of him and he was driving in the ONCOMING TRAFFIC LANE.
That’s all I have to say about it, and I know what you’re thinking, “Is this really the end of this blog entry? Come on Rye, we just read three paragraphs of this thing and you don’t have the decency to wrap it up in some poignant way? ” You’re right. I wrote this blog wrong, and hey, go fuck yourself!!
It’s not the traffic that sucks here, it’s the drivers. And I don’t even mean to say they’re particularly worse at driving than in other cities, but rather that they just suck as people. There’s something about getting behind a wheel of a car in Los Angeles that instantly transforms a person into an asshole. I think it’s because people spend so much of their time outside their car being fake that when they finally get behind the wheel the darkest, most vicious parts of their personality are just screaming to be unleashed. On a regular basis, I will hear someone honk at an intersection for the first car to go, while the light is still changing. I’ve been honked at for having the audacity to pause and let a stranded left-turner go so they don’t get stuck in the middle of the intersection. I’ve heard someone call my friend Maria the c-word because they were mad they had to wait for her to pull out a parking space she was wedged into. And absolutely no one here does the courtesy wave to a driver who lets them over.
But what really drives me crazy are the occasions where someone actually gets mad at me because they were wrong. Yesterday I had a driver in the right hand lane refuse to let me over for three blocks despite leaving my blinker on and making many attempts to get over. When I finally gave up trying to get over and punched my steering wheel in anger, the guy screamed at me from his window, asked me if I wanted to pull over and fight over it, and then he spit on my car. Let me reiterate again, this guy spit on my car because he cut me off. Today, the same thing. I was trying to find a parking spot, found one on the left hand side of the steet, and so I flipped on my blinker and started to pull into a driveway to turn around and park, and the car behind me decided that instead of waiting for me to turn, he would dart around me into the oncoming traffic lane, almost T-boned me as I turned, and then he honked his horn at me and threw me a double dose of middle finger. Let me repeat that. This guy got mad at me because he almost hit me when I was in front of him and he was driving in the ONCOMING TRAFFIC LANE.
That’s all I have to say about it, and I know what you’re thinking, “Is this really the end of this blog entry? Come on Rye, we just read three paragraphs of this thing and you don’t have the decency to wrap it up in some poignant way? ” You’re right. I wrote this blog wrong, and hey, go fuck yourself!!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Awkward Moments with Famous People
Another title for this entry could be "I really need to start blogging again," which is probably the most frequently written phrase in any blog I attempt to keep. Here goes yet another attempt.
I've been in LA for almost a week now, and mentally it definitely feels better than my last attempt to move here. Turns out spending most of your time on a couch watching syndicated reruns on broadcast TV, while leaving a laptop open to a blank word document and calling that "writing," is not the best way to handle a move to a new city. This time I'm keeping those blank documents open at coffee shops in different parts of the city that I'm driving to. Today I'm at a Coffee Bean in Studio City, but I've also not written at such places as the Bourgeois Pig, Solar de Cahuenga, and Aroma Cafe. Seriously cannot recommend these places enough for slacking off on your life passions.
The fatal flaw of this city though may be the fact that it is already so beautiful that it makes it kind of hard to get too down on yourself for being unproductive. I mean I'm sitting right now at an outdoor cafe with a full view of palm trees and attractive people. So what if I never finish this screenplay? Who needs self respect when you've got sunscreen?
I've met two famous comedians in the last week and both encounters couldn't have been more awkward, so that's fun. I've always fancied myself as someone unfazed by famous people because I've met so many comics over the years and had cool relaxed conversations with them, but it turns out the vital ingredient in those scenarios was the fact that we were working together at a comedy club. It's easy to feel like someone is a peer when I'm working with them, not quite the same when I run into them on the street while they're walking their dog and all I can stammer out is "Um.. I hate to be this guy, but.. lot's of respect," which wouldn't really be that bad were not preceded and followed by the multiple minutes of awkward silence and then walking down the street way too fast in what was a blatant attempt to escape from the whole scenario. Seriously, I probably should have just kicked Dave Foley in the shin and ran away.
I've been in LA for almost a week now, and mentally it definitely feels better than my last attempt to move here. Turns out spending most of your time on a couch watching syndicated reruns on broadcast TV, while leaving a laptop open to a blank word document and calling that "writing," is not the best way to handle a move to a new city. This time I'm keeping those blank documents open at coffee shops in different parts of the city that I'm driving to. Today I'm at a Coffee Bean in Studio City, but I've also not written at such places as the Bourgeois Pig, Solar de Cahuenga, and Aroma Cafe. Seriously cannot recommend these places enough for slacking off on your life passions.
The fatal flaw of this city though may be the fact that it is already so beautiful that it makes it kind of hard to get too down on yourself for being unproductive. I mean I'm sitting right now at an outdoor cafe with a full view of palm trees and attractive people. So what if I never finish this screenplay? Who needs self respect when you've got sunscreen?
I've met two famous comedians in the last week and both encounters couldn't have been more awkward, so that's fun. I've always fancied myself as someone unfazed by famous people because I've met so many comics over the years and had cool relaxed conversations with them, but it turns out the vital ingredient in those scenarios was the fact that we were working together at a comedy club. It's easy to feel like someone is a peer when I'm working with them, not quite the same when I run into them on the street while they're walking their dog and all I can stammer out is "Um.. I hate to be this guy, but.. lot's of respect," which wouldn't really be that bad were not preceded and followed by the multiple minutes of awkward silence and then walking down the street way too fast in what was a blatant attempt to escape from the whole scenario. Seriously, I probably should have just kicked Dave Foley in the shin and ran away.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Beer Battered Kittens
So PETA has launched a new campaign to stop people from fishing and eating fish. Their plan is to rename fish "Sea Kittens" and yes, it is for real. This isn't someone making a satirical campaign to mock PETA, this is for real. Setting aside the irony thatPETA kills a very high amount of cats in their shelters, I just find the whole thing hysterical. Because if you look at their site, there is a lot of production value in it, they clearly spent a lot of time working on it, probably hired a design contractor to do the site, had creative meetings on the "Sea Kitten bedtime stories" and the "make your own Sea Kitten" function, which by the way includes amongst the things you can dress your own Sea Kitten in, a set of swim floaties, which I'm pretty sure would kill a fish, as they tend to want to remain below the surface, and you know, continue to breathe.
But what makes me laugh the most about the whole campaign is this: It's made me eat fish. I've eaten fish three times in the last five days, and I think I'd eaten it maybe five times in the past year before this. And I'm not doing it out of some asshole attempt to spite PETA, I'm not saying screw them I'll eat more fish. Reading their site last week just made me feel a craving for fish, it made them look more appealing than usual.
I first ate a fish sticks TV dinner from my freezer on thursday, ate a fish sandwich at a pub-style restaraunt on saturday night, and then had a Filet-o-Sea-Kitten at McDonalds last night. And they were all AWESOME. I had sort of forgotten how good a fried fish filet could be, but PETA made me crave a little tartar sauce, with a hint of malt vinegar and hot sauce on the breading.
It almost makes me curious how their land-dwelling cousins taste...
But what makes me laugh the most about the whole campaign is this: It's made me eat fish. I've eaten fish three times in the last five days, and I think I'd eaten it maybe five times in the past year before this. And I'm not doing it out of some asshole attempt to spite PETA, I'm not saying screw them I'll eat more fish. Reading their site last week just made me feel a craving for fish, it made them look more appealing than usual.
I first ate a fish sticks TV dinner from my freezer on thursday, ate a fish sandwich at a pub-style restaraunt on saturday night, and then had a Filet-o-Sea-Kitten at McDonalds last night. And they were all AWESOME. I had sort of forgotten how good a fried fish filet could be, but PETA made me crave a little tartar sauce, with a hint of malt vinegar and hot sauce on the breading.
It almost makes me curious how their land-dwelling cousins taste...
Friday, November 7, 2008
I don't care how many free worlds you lead, this kid needs to do her homework
So I figured it was about time I got back to blogging. I had sort of let this blog go after focusing so much of my blogging efforts on the Something Something Burt Ward blog, which is pretty much dead. It wasn't officially killed, just "de-emphasized" but since the last entry on that site was in mid-september, and it was by me, I think it's fair to assume there's not much change it'll have a re-birth any time soon.
So yeah, Obama is President-elect. I'm obviously very excited about this, on a small scale, it's just nice to finally have voted for someone who won a presidential election (I'm looking at you Gore and Kerry!) but also, as has been said and in far more eloquent ways than I can, it is amazing to have lived at this moment in history. I had a discussion with my friend Jeff Burgstrom at a show on Wednesday about how sorry we felt for the people who were so focused on the partisan politics of the matter that they wouldn't be able to appreciate the sheer weight of the moment itself.
One thing I found funny though is today I was reading an article on Huffington Post regarding the schedule of President-elect Obama, including his first official press conference and a transition economic meeting to discuss the current financial crisis and how to approach it come January. However, before that newly elected President and his wife are attending parent teacher conferences at their daughter's school.
Can you imagine the sheer absurdity of being a teacher who has to sit down with a man who was just elected president in one of the most historic elections in history, and talk to him about how his kids are doing in school the same week as said election? Three nights ago this guy made Oprah cry and today you have to tell him that Malia needs to focus more on her math homework.*
Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of parent teacher conferences in regards to the education of children, it's just funny (funny weird, not funny ha-ha) for me whenever you see politicians doing normal mundane things. For over a year now Barack Obama has been more of a symbol than an individual person, but the fact is, despite his new job and iconic status, he's still a father. It's not exactly as mundane as it would be for him to be heading down for an oil change, but it still made me chuckle.
*Pure speculation, I don't have any actual knowledge of how good or bad Malia Obama is at math.
So yeah, Obama is President-elect. I'm obviously very excited about this, on a small scale, it's just nice to finally have voted for someone who won a presidential election (I'm looking at you Gore and Kerry!) but also, as has been said and in far more eloquent ways than I can, it is amazing to have lived at this moment in history. I had a discussion with my friend Jeff Burgstrom at a show on Wednesday about how sorry we felt for the people who were so focused on the partisan politics of the matter that they wouldn't be able to appreciate the sheer weight of the moment itself.
One thing I found funny though is today I was reading an article on Huffington Post regarding the schedule of President-elect Obama, including his first official press conference and a transition economic meeting to discuss the current financial crisis and how to approach it come January. However, before that newly elected President and his wife are attending parent teacher conferences at their daughter's school.
Can you imagine the sheer absurdity of being a teacher who has to sit down with a man who was just elected president in one of the most historic elections in history, and talk to him about how his kids are doing in school the same week as said election? Three nights ago this guy made Oprah cry and today you have to tell him that Malia needs to focus more on her math homework.*
Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of parent teacher conferences in regards to the education of children, it's just funny (funny weird, not funny ha-ha) for me whenever you see politicians doing normal mundane things. For over a year now Barack Obama has been more of a symbol than an individual person, but the fact is, despite his new job and iconic status, he's still a father. It's not exactly as mundane as it would be for him to be heading down for an oil change, but it still made me chuckle.
*Pure speculation, I don't have any actual knowledge of how good or bad Malia Obama is at math.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Awkward Moment Theater
When I was in New York last year, I wrote sketches for a group called New Media Comedy. Some of them were performed live in the 2007 New York Underground Comedy Festival, and now three of them have been filmed and placed on NMC's Myspace page. Apparently they're really big on the concept and are going to produce some more sketches for it and maybe do some live shows using this as the glue. So even stuff that I'm not going to write will have my name on it. Ah, the "Created by" credit.
Here are the three that have been produced so far. I'm really happy with two of them especially. One has some creative changes that I totally understand but a joke I was on love with got cut. But it is much closer to my original vision than the other set of scripts I had produced by someone else, so for that I am happy. Although the other people paid me, so there's a tradeoff I suppose. But that is "The Biz" I guess, better to learn it now. But here without further rambling by me, is Awkward Moment Theater:
Awkward Moment Theatre 1
Awkward Moment Theatre 2
Awkward Moment Theatre 3
Here are the three that have been produced so far. I'm really happy with two of them especially. One has some creative changes that I totally understand but a joke I was on love with got cut. But it is much closer to my original vision than the other set of scripts I had produced by someone else, so for that I am happy. Although the other people paid me, so there's a tradeoff I suppose. But that is "The Biz" I guess, better to learn it now. But here without further rambling by me, is Awkward Moment Theater:
Awkward Moment Theatre 1
Awkward Moment Theatre 2
Awkward Moment Theatre 3
Saturday, May 3, 2008
I am (an) Iron Man (fan)
Iron Man is a character that I never in my history of comic book fandom cared about. When talk first started circulating about an Iron Man movie, my thought was “I guess they’re hitting them all eventually,” considering that we’ve already been subjected to Ghost Rider and Daredevil/Elektra. Especially now that Marvel has founded their very own studio so that they can produce movies themselves instead of selling the rights and points on the back end to others, it seems fairly certain that their catalog of heroes isn’t going to be closing itself off to the multiplex any time soon.
But after seeing Iron Man, I’m sort of ok with that. Provided of course, that the movies they make are more like Iron Man and less like the Fantastic Four franchise. It isn’t that Iron Man is any amazing special film, but it isn’t terrible. In the spectrum of superhero movies, it falls somewhere maybe slightly behind the first X-Men, but well in front of the awful third one. It isn’t Spiderman II, Hellboy, or Batman Begins. But it certainly isn’t Daredevil.
There is one thing and one thing alone that makes Iron Man such an enjoyable movie. Robert Downey Jr. The script is ok, and Jon Favreau does a pretty decent ass job in the director’s chair for it too, but it is Downey that carries the weight of the movie on his metal clad shoulders. He plays Tony Stark with such a flair for delightful bastardness, yet does not fall short at the moments when he must also show real emotion, real conflict as his character realizes his place in the world.
Downey brings to the table the most enjoyable performance in a popcorn movie since Johnny Depp set sail as Captain Jack Sparrow in the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Despite Stark’s personal conflicts, he is the least angst-ridden super hero in recent memory, delighting in every moment he spends refining and eventually kicking evil ass in his suit. It is an interesting twist on the paradigm of the costumed hero that Stark is more weighed down by the impact on the world he has created as a normal person, albeit a larger than life normal person, than he does as a costumed crusader. His joy in being a superhero reminds us of something often forgotten in many of the overly dark failures in comic book adaptations the last few years, the reason so many little kids want to be superheroes in the first place, it looks kind of fun.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My Man Crush on John Edwards Has Not Faded
I tried posting this yesterday but had technical difficulties
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
You Don't Know What Love Is: My Relationship With the White Stripes and Music In General
I love the White Stripes. This is a declaration that seems sort of silly in 2008. Why take the time to write about your love of a band that has been around since 1999, and has held a firm foothold in the mainstream realm of "cool" music since 2001's "White Blood Cells"?
The reason is this: my love of the White Stripes is something I have only recently become aware of. I have always been aware of the band, I've noticed the hundreds of magazine articles with Jack and Meg white on the cover, I've always stopped my channel surfing when an MTV or VH1 was playing one of their videos, I've turned up my radio whenever "Seven Nation Army" has come on, I've played "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground" on many a jukebox, and I have acquired the occasional single of theirs via itunes or other, less legitimate means. I even rocked out to a burned copy of the debut album of the Raconteurs, Jack White's side project, that was given to me by a former coworker. And yet, somehow, in the years between 2001 and now, I have never listed the White Stripes when asked about my favorite bands, and I have never purchased any of their albums.
In fact, I have even gone so far as to roll my eyes when other people have told me that the White Stripes are one of their favorite bands, when someone tried to inform me of the genius of "Icky Thump," I would tune them out. Somehow I had convinced myself that I didn't like the White Stripes, even though I have never heard a song of theirs that I do not, in fact, love. Consistently I have discussed the songs of theirs that I like as the exception. "Oh, I'm not really a White Stripes fan, but I love The Denial Twist." "But I love My Doorbell." "But I love their cover of "Just Don't Know What to do With Myself."
In short, if the White Stripes were a woman, they would be that girl I was friends with for a long time but never realized I was in love with. And I think perhaps this has something to do with the nature of my consumption of music in general. I have had similar moments of discovering fandom of a particular artist after the fact, such as Oasis, or Travis. Very rarely do I discover an artist and have that immediate connection. Even my favorite artist, Ben Folds, whose music I have been mocked by my friends for my obsession with, was re-connection, having bought "The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner" in high school, and listened to it maybe twice, before decided it sucked. This is the same album I actually had to repurchase years later and consider to be the best work done by Ben Folds Five before the group split up and Ben became a solo artist. It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I heard the live version of "Still Fighting It," and soon devoured everything else Folds has done, as well as having gone to see him live four times in the last five years.
So what happened with the White Stripes? The only thing I can think of is that I had heard of them before I heard them, that they were already being pushed to be as the Next Great Thing so hard that I never even took the time to consider that they actually could be. So even when I enjoyed everything I heard by them, I took for granted how talented they are because this had been told to me on such a regular basis.
It reminds me of a long running debate I have with my friend Lauren over the perceived greatness of the Beatles. I often joke with her that she "hates" the Beatles, due to her perception of their being overrated. The debate mostly boils down to the fact that the Beatles can be considered as having come along at exactly the right time, in an era before the internet, before cable TV, before the ability to walk into a bookstore and find countless titles on the magazine rack dedicated to the critical deconstruction of music. That in the 1960's, it wasn't as hard for a successful band to dominate all media, because there was much less media to dominate and news traveled quite a bit slower. I concede that there are many annoying people who would like to assume that rock and roll began and ended with the Beatles, that all that came after are pale imitations, that attribute far too much influence on the modern music scene to the four boys from Liverpool. But at the end of the day, the Beatles made fantastic music and they should not be written off simply because of the overzealousness of their most obnoxious fans. The fact that I, having been born in 1981, over a year after John Lennon's death, yet can still appreciate "Nowhere Man," or "Let it Be," is significant towards the quality of the music.
And such is the way I now understand the White Stripes. They are a truly talented pair of musicians, and it simply took me a long time to understand that. I never had to think about if they were good or not, because I'd already been told so. I've been told it for years by outside sources and written them off as a result of it, but when I finally took the time to view them outside of the articles, the interviews, the commentaries of the peanut gallery, what was left for me was the music itself. And when it's just me and the headphones, that's where I get it.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Really, Gerry?
Geraldine Ferraro. Really? You don't see ANYTHING wrong with what you said? And the Hillary campaign is the victim here, according to you? You're the one who brought up the issue of race, and then suggest that the backlash of racism is absurd? You have said that attacks on Hillary, for example suggesting that her marriage to Bill is the only reason she is where she is, is sexist, but you saying Obama being where he is only because he's black isn't racist? Sorry Gerry, you can't have it both ways. I'm glad you resigned, because I want to believe deep in my heart that your comments do not reflect Hillary's campaign, just as McCain has already criticized members of his, and lost base supporters, for their similar comments.
And quite frankly, your comment has some truth, just not in the way you meant it. Of COURSE his being black is part of what got him here today. But not in the way you say it, in that his being black makes him a novelty. His race has absolutely shaped his place in the campaign, because it has shaped the man he is. It is without question tied to his identity, and as such is directly connected to the way he grew up, and the way he saw the world as he grew. None of us has any way of knowing how Obama would do in this campaign if he were a white man or a woman of any color as you say, because it is impossible to separate him from his racial background, just as it is impossible to separate Hillary from her marital history or you from your gender during the Mondale/Ferraro campaign in 1984. None of us would be where we are today without the things that shape our identity.
So what exactly was your point in what you said? Is it that any black man who ran for president in 2008 would have become the frontrunner of the Democratic party? I don't think so. It is Barack Obama's character, his charisma, his ability to inspire people that has led him as far as he has come, just as it is Hillary Clinton's warrior spirit that has kept her in the running as well, her knowledge of how to play the game, and her ability to garner the devotion of her supporters. Neither candidate is "lucky" to be where they are, they have both been fighting for their entire careers to get to this point, and they both deserve the position they are in and the right to have their voices heard in this primary.
And quite frankly, your comment has some truth, just not in the way you meant it. Of COURSE his being black is part of what got him here today. But not in the way you say it, in that his being black makes him a novelty. His race has absolutely shaped his place in the campaign, because it has shaped the man he is. It is without question tied to his identity, and as such is directly connected to the way he grew up, and the way he saw the world as he grew. None of us has any way of knowing how Obama would do in this campaign if he were a white man or a woman of any color as you say, because it is impossible to separate him from his racial background, just as it is impossible to separate Hillary from her marital history or you from your gender during the Mondale/Ferraro campaign in 1984. None of us would be where we are today without the things that shape our identity.
So what exactly was your point in what you said? Is it that any black man who ran for president in 2008 would have become the frontrunner of the Democratic party? I don't think so. It is Barack Obama's character, his charisma, his ability to inspire people that has led him as far as he has come, just as it is Hillary Clinton's warrior spirit that has kept her in the running as well, her knowledge of how to play the game, and her ability to garner the devotion of her supporters. Neither candidate is "lucky" to be where they are, they have both been fighting for their entire careers to get to this point, and they both deserve the position they are in and the right to have their voices heard in this primary.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Prime Time
Here in Ohio there is only one day before the primary, and two days, I think, before our entire state and maybe the country, breathes a massive sigh of relief. Without a doubt this is the most fiercely battled primary in my voting history. By the time the polls open here typically the candidate has already been decided, even in 2004 Kerry had pretty much locked it down by the time it came to Ohio.
I took down an earlier post I wrote about my position on the Obama/Hillary decision, because upon re-reading it, I decided even I didn't agree with my reasoning and in fact I was probably doing the exact thing I had been so annoyed about during my post following Edwards' withdrawal. From the comments I read on Huffington Post, I may be in the minority here, but I like to believe I am actually one of the silent majority. Because I honestly think that the fact of the matter is, we are lucky, as Democrats, to have to make the decision that we do, to have two very good candidates to be President of the United States. If Barack loses the nomination and it goes to Hillary, I will vote for her in the general election, albeit with a heavy heart. My decision to vote tomorrow for Barack Obama is based on his strengths, and not Hillary's weaknesses.
So what are Obama's strengths? Regardless of what some pundits or naysayers have tried to convince me of otherwise, his ability to inspire people and command an audience is a strength and is not a hollow promise. For years, I have heard the constant rhetoric bemoaning the fact that the youth of America is apathetic, and I have heard people my age complain that they feel disconnected from politics. What Obama has done is address these two points, and he has energized the apathetic in a way no candidate has in my lifetime. And frankly, the way that his opposition has tried to spin this negatively just further underscores why people turn away from politics to begin with.
What is happening now in this election is the opposite of what happened in '04. I was one of the few Democrats that actually liked John Kerry and thought he would make a good President. The general unspoken consensus when he took over the frontrunner status, was something of "well he's our best chance, I guess." We tried very hard as a group to hide this sentiment, but let's face it, the Democrats never loved John Kerry. The Republicans loved George Bush. Not being a Republican, I can't speak to the accuracy of a theory I have that this time around, John McCain is their John Kerry. But I will save McCain thoughts for the general election.
I said it back when licking my wounds following the general election, 2004's ballot should have just said "Not Bush," and that is no way to win an election. In reality, people do like to be optimistic when voting, especially when it comes to candidates. It was clear in the fall of 04, that for the next presidential election we would need to run someone that people actually loved. I didn't expect Obama to run so soon, so I was expecting either a return of Al Gore, or to beat a dead horse, Edwards.
But Obama did run. And people do love him. Not to say that Hillary doesn't have passionate supporters as well, but the Obama phenomenon is truly something unique in this generation of politics. They say he's too inexperienced, and yet, he actually has more experience than Abraham Lincoln, who is considered to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest, Presidents in the history of our country, and if nothing else certainly had to deal with the single biggest crisis in our nation's history. And did it. Because Lincoln was a smart man who surrounded himself with other smart people. I see no reason to suspect that Obama would do otherwise, in fact he has already promised to include Republicans in his cabinet, apparently agreeing with Lincoln's sentiment that it's not enough to surround yourself with smart people, but they should also disagree with you.
So I will admit it. Somewhere between Edwards' withdrawal and now, I have drank the kool-aid. I am optimistic, I am hopeful, I am inspired. I believe that there is a chance here to witness history. The Obama campaign does not represent one man, but rather the culmination of a grassroots movement that has been growing in this country, the same movement that pushed Howard Dean to the early forefront of the 04 race, and ultimately landed him as chair of the DNC. Obama's momentum has felt so absolutely driven by the people he seeks to represent, to lead, that it is very hard for me not to get swept up in the hope. I want very much to defend that hope, that optimism, from the people who seek to strip me of it. I want to make them see what it is that I see in this campaign. I am tired of the hatred, the bitterness, the cynicism of politics, and I am very very happy to say that yes, I support a candidate that truly makes me feel like there is something we can do as a people to change the tide.
So you can call me naive if you want, say that you've been through it all and you've seen the same promises every time and that nothing ever changes. Maybe, maybe not. But I believe we can, change things, it might take a lot of work, it might take a lot of time, but history proves time and time again that people can make a difference, and I would rather be a part of such an attempt, than on the sidelines saying it probably won't work.
I took down an earlier post I wrote about my position on the Obama/Hillary decision, because upon re-reading it, I decided even I didn't agree with my reasoning and in fact I was probably doing the exact thing I had been so annoyed about during my post following Edwards' withdrawal. From the comments I read on Huffington Post, I may be in the minority here, but I like to believe I am actually one of the silent majority. Because I honestly think that the fact of the matter is, we are lucky, as Democrats, to have to make the decision that we do, to have two very good candidates to be President of the United States. If Barack loses the nomination and it goes to Hillary, I will vote for her in the general election, albeit with a heavy heart. My decision to vote tomorrow for Barack Obama is based on his strengths, and not Hillary's weaknesses.
So what are Obama's strengths? Regardless of what some pundits or naysayers have tried to convince me of otherwise, his ability to inspire people and command an audience is a strength and is not a hollow promise. For years, I have heard the constant rhetoric bemoaning the fact that the youth of America is apathetic, and I have heard people my age complain that they feel disconnected from politics. What Obama has done is address these two points, and he has energized the apathetic in a way no candidate has in my lifetime. And frankly, the way that his opposition has tried to spin this negatively just further underscores why people turn away from politics to begin with.
What is happening now in this election is the opposite of what happened in '04. I was one of the few Democrats that actually liked John Kerry and thought he would make a good President. The general unspoken consensus when he took over the frontrunner status, was something of "well he's our best chance, I guess." We tried very hard as a group to hide this sentiment, but let's face it, the Democrats never loved John Kerry. The Republicans loved George Bush. Not being a Republican, I can't speak to the accuracy of a theory I have that this time around, John McCain is their John Kerry. But I will save McCain thoughts for the general election.
I said it back when licking my wounds following the general election, 2004's ballot should have just said "Not Bush," and that is no way to win an election. In reality, people do like to be optimistic when voting, especially when it comes to candidates. It was clear in the fall of 04, that for the next presidential election we would need to run someone that people actually loved. I didn't expect Obama to run so soon, so I was expecting either a return of Al Gore, or to beat a dead horse, Edwards.
But Obama did run. And people do love him. Not to say that Hillary doesn't have passionate supporters as well, but the Obama phenomenon is truly something unique in this generation of politics. They say he's too inexperienced, and yet, he actually has more experience than Abraham Lincoln, who is considered to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest, Presidents in the history of our country, and if nothing else certainly had to deal with the single biggest crisis in our nation's history. And did it. Because Lincoln was a smart man who surrounded himself with other smart people. I see no reason to suspect that Obama would do otherwise, in fact he has already promised to include Republicans in his cabinet, apparently agreeing with Lincoln's sentiment that it's not enough to surround yourself with smart people, but they should also disagree with you.
So I will admit it. Somewhere between Edwards' withdrawal and now, I have drank the kool-aid. I am optimistic, I am hopeful, I am inspired. I believe that there is a chance here to witness history. The Obama campaign does not represent one man, but rather the culmination of a grassroots movement that has been growing in this country, the same movement that pushed Howard Dean to the early forefront of the 04 race, and ultimately landed him as chair of the DNC. Obama's momentum has felt so absolutely driven by the people he seeks to represent, to lead, that it is very hard for me not to get swept up in the hope. I want very much to defend that hope, that optimism, from the people who seek to strip me of it. I want to make them see what it is that I see in this campaign. I am tired of the hatred, the bitterness, the cynicism of politics, and I am very very happy to say that yes, I support a candidate that truly makes me feel like there is something we can do as a people to change the tide.
So you can call me naive if you want, say that you've been through it all and you've seen the same promises every time and that nothing ever changes. Maybe, maybe not. But I believe we can, change things, it might take a lot of work, it might take a lot of time, but history proves time and time again that people can make a difference, and I would rather be a part of such an attempt, than on the sidelines saying it probably won't work.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
You can't go home again
Last night was the "Northberg Reunion" show here in Columbus. The Northberg was a bar that ran a comedy open mic show for a little over 5 years, and was the first place I did a real show, after attending the workshop at the FunnyBone. When the Northberg closed I was pretty bummed, even going so far as to once create a web page that served as a memorial site to the show. I was there every tuesday for a couple years, and the closing of the bar marked the beginning of a very bad time in comedy in Columbus, when there were rarely any shows in town and the ones we did get had no audiences or support from the bars hosting them.
But of course everything is better in our memories and the Northberg is ultimately no different. While I did feel a certain level of glee as I stepped down the stairs and into the room, passing through that doorway as I did so many times before, it very quickly dawned on me that the place I cut my teeth was no longer there. Sure, it was shaped the same, and the comics hung out in relatively the same space, but it was not the Northberg, it wasn't even a bar. It was the downstairs party room for a pizza restaurant. The walls were cleanly painted, the pool table and dart boards were gone, as was the stage and the sound booth.
And of course, the thing missing the most was the crowds. Sure there was an audience, a decent one even. But aside from a handful, friends of comedians, probably looking for nostalgia as much as we were, the crowd was there more for the band playing or just because. The "reunion" aspect was a little flawed in this sense, as it was the same comics we still see at shows all over town, and ultimately it ended up feeling like just another long open mic.
And maybe that's part of the issue. At the time of the Northberg's heyday, it was sort of the only frame of reference I had for an open mic night, and in memory I of course upped its plusses and glossed over its flaws. But now, there are three regular shows in town, between tuesdays at the Scarlet and Grey, the first true replacement, Andyman's on thursday which is still finding its way but has a lot of promise, and of course the weds show at Surly Girl, which along with its predecessor at the St. James Tavern, is the show that for me now feels like home the way that basement on Frambes used to when I began. The place where I shape my voice as a comic.
On top of that, last night I did one of my worst sets in a long, long time. Not even bad because of any problem from the crowd, instead I simply managed to find some sort of brain freeze moment where, not unlike my worst dreams, I could not remember the next thing I wanted to say, trapped in a loop of trying to jog my memory and feeling the tension continue to rise. Odd of course for this to happen in the same room where years ago I would be in this same position just trying to figure out what I have to say to begin with.
But of course everything is better in our memories and the Northberg is ultimately no different. While I did feel a certain level of glee as I stepped down the stairs and into the room, passing through that doorway as I did so many times before, it very quickly dawned on me that the place I cut my teeth was no longer there. Sure, it was shaped the same, and the comics hung out in relatively the same space, but it was not the Northberg, it wasn't even a bar. It was the downstairs party room for a pizza restaurant. The walls were cleanly painted, the pool table and dart boards were gone, as was the stage and the sound booth.
And of course, the thing missing the most was the crowds. Sure there was an audience, a decent one even. But aside from a handful, friends of comedians, probably looking for nostalgia as much as we were, the crowd was there more for the band playing or just because. The "reunion" aspect was a little flawed in this sense, as it was the same comics we still see at shows all over town, and ultimately it ended up feeling like just another long open mic.
And maybe that's part of the issue. At the time of the Northberg's heyday, it was sort of the only frame of reference I had for an open mic night, and in memory I of course upped its plusses and glossed over its flaws. But now, there are three regular shows in town, between tuesdays at the Scarlet and Grey, the first true replacement, Andyman's on thursday which is still finding its way but has a lot of promise, and of course the weds show at Surly Girl, which along with its predecessor at the St. James Tavern, is the show that for me now feels like home the way that basement on Frambes used to when I began. The place where I shape my voice as a comic.
On top of that, last night I did one of my worst sets in a long, long time. Not even bad because of any problem from the crowd, instead I simply managed to find some sort of brain freeze moment where, not unlike my worst dreams, I could not remember the next thing I wanted to say, trapped in a loop of trying to jog my memory and feeling the tension continue to rise. Odd of course for this to happen in the same room where years ago I would be in this same position just trying to figure out what I have to say to begin with.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Such Great Heights
Last year I celebrated my singledom on Valentine's Day by sitting at home, having a few beers, and watching both 'Kill Bill' movies back to back. Ah, romance. This year though, I went out. Lauren: The Fake Girlfriend and I went to see 'Vertigo' at the Wexner center at Ohio State. Nothing says "Love is in the air," like a classic film about a murdered wife and a truly creepy ex-cop trying to shape a living woman into the dead one that he loved.
The first time I saw 'Vertigo' was in my Hitchcock class senior year, which was one of the best classes I ever took during college. Mark Conroy, the professor, had very strong theories about the structure of Hitchcock's movies, and he wore black the day we discussed Vertigo because it was the first of Alfred's movies that stopped applying said structure. This was also the class where my friend and I, noticed other students were bringing in food to eat during the movie, decided to send our friend Stefanie to Buffalo Wild Wings before class to enjoy during the movie. Unfortunately the movie that day was 'Frenzy,' which was without a doubt the hardest movie to watch and enjoy wings with. Had we watched 'The Birds,' at least we could have felt some sort of vengeful delight in our snack of choice. This event did however earn me the nickname "Hot Wings" from another girl in our class.
So some things I learned last night during the screening:
1.) When a Wexner center box office employee accidentally charges your Debit card $70 instead of $7, do not believe his colleague when she assures you that the immediate refund credit will ensure that it "won't even be noticeable." It really sucks later when you realize that your checking account is now $70 lighter and will be for the next few days before the credit gets applied back. Thanks jackass. At least I didn't need that money this weekend while going out of town for a gig. Oh wait, I did. Way to fail at the only thing your job entails.
2.) Hipsters are really annoying. If you don't like the movie, fine, but don't be a dick about it. The people behind me kept talking throughout the movie, and kept kicking the chairs of myself and Lauren. There's an exit, you can go if you want. Don't ruin the movie for me and the other people who appreciate a classic work of cinema, and a groundbreaking work from an important filmmaker. Conroy's black blazer demands respect, now go home and shave your beard and leave us be!
3.) Kim Novak's eyebrow pencil is truly disturbing, especially when she's a brunette.
4.) I forgot, Jimmy Stewart can be really really creepy. Oh sure, he seems sweet enough with his body of work, luring you in with tales of a wonderful life, and you get really worried when he's being dangled out a rear window, but I certainly wouldn't want him to take me shopping for a new dress suit. And if he asks you to go view San Juan Bautista, for God's sake stay out of the bell tower!
Also, was Jimmy Stewart ever actually credited as "Jimmy"? I have never heard him called "James," ever by anyone in any conversation, yet I have never seen him credited as anything but "James Stewart." Do you think 20-30 years we'll only refer to Sylvester Stallone as "Sly" or Tom Cruise as "Batshit crazy"?
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
There's Johnny
I have really never posted about politics in my blog, I usually feel like it's not something I'm as qualified to write about, or to be more plain, it's something I think lots of people can do better than I can with it.
But with the departure of John Edwards from the Democratic presidential campaign yesterday, I find myself with no other subject to think as deeply about. It bothers me on a level I'm not even sure I understand yet, not even so much that Edwards dropped out, but the circumstances leading up to why he did.
John Edwards was my 'guy,' for the entire length of this campaign, and in fact I would go so far as to say I had him in my mind as the 08 Candidate during the 04 election, when I had the opportunity to see the Senator speak here in Columbus, following the first debate between Senator Kerry and President Bush. It was there on the waterfront in front of COSI, that I started to suspect that we had perhaps backed the wrong horse. Granted, at the time, Kerry had just wiped the floor with Bush in the debate and myself, along with the rest of the Dems in attendance of the rally, were fairly confident we had the election won. But there was something in the way John Edwards spoke that night, a level of charisma and conviction to his words that made me wish he had been the first name on the ticket. Assuming at the time that Kerry would win in 04, I was already picturing the Edwards 2012 campaign signs in my head (obviously in my fantasy, Kerry was a 2-termer.)
We all know how the 2004 election turned out, and it was in the wake of the election that I was then certain that Edwards was my guy. When the votes had not been fully counted, and there was suspicion of tampering in several Ohio counties, Kerry conceded. This action enraged me, and it enraged Edwards, who openly criticized his now-former running mate. Whether or not Kerry would have ultimately proven to be the loser was not the point, the point was that these men had campaigned on a ticket of fighting what they believed to be a wrong course for America, and Kerry knuckled under. Edwards wanted to keep fighting.
And in the build up to the 2008 campaign, it was this fighting attitude that made me lean towards Edwards when the media had already began prepping for a 2-candidate race between Hilary and Obama. Edwards ran the kind of campaign that people always claim to want, being one that focused on the issues and focusing his anger and fighting spirit towards what needed to be done about them, as opposed to what was simply wrong with his opponents. In the Democratic debate held on Martin Luther King, Edwards was the voice of reason, between a bickering set of frontrunners. His comment that his opponents back and forth was doing nothing to put food in the mouths of starving children, was to this viewer, the key moment of the debate, and yet in the vast majority of the media coverage of said debate, Edwards' presence was an afterthought, the fight between Hilary and Barack was apparently a more fun story.
What troubles me about the Edwards concession is that it is this media blackout on his campaign that forced it to be so. There are plenty of theorists online who suggest that the source of this blackout is a corporate media conspiracy to keep him from getting the ticket, as his populist message could pose a true threat to their status quo, especially as polls show he is capable of defeating every single republican candidate in the general election. I do not know how much stock I put in said theory, it has merit I suppose and frankly I've had the "liberal media" line shoved down my throat so many times that I challenge someone to try to claim that it isn't possible. If it can be argued that there is a media conspiracy powerful enough to push the leftist agenda, it is just as plausible, perhaps even more so, to say the same could go for the right.
But for me, I don't think the sin of media coverage in this election is an attempt to push a specific agenda, as much as it is the very troublesome problem with news coverage in general, in that the hotter story now is more important than the better story. In starting to write this blog, I had to actually dig deep to find any sort of information on what Barack, Hilary, Romney, or McCain actually think about any issues. All that is on the surface is that both Barack and Hilary are fans of "change," and the other offers false change. Romney and McCain, one of them is too conservative, or not conservative enough, depending on what day of the week it is.
The other thing that damned the Edwards campaign, is something that was at the very heart of what he was trying to accomplish. Edwards, by virtue of his refusal to take money from special interest groups, was unable to raise the level of money required to really take on either of his Democratic opponents. Without the support of media coverage, and the inability to finance his own advertising at the level of Hilary and Obama, he was forced into the distant third role, and written off, with most voters unaware that he was really even in it.
And that really doesn't sit well with me. I am tired of the way that in this country, politics have become a cult of personality that in no way have anything to do with ones own issues. I'm not saying that Edwards was absolutely the best candidate for everyone, in fact I know he was very opposable by people who favor conservative systems, but at least he had issues, at least he had a platform. When did we, as a country, stop caring about what our leaders actually think about? When did we just sit back and let 24-hour news tell us who the frontrunners are before a single vote has been cast?
We continue to allow things that at the end of the day are not the real important issues to be the things that dominate the race. In 2004, it was gay marriage, an issue pretty much untouched, even though it defined the voter turnout. Now the buzz points for the Democratic side seem to be making a change in race or gender. I get it, a black or female president is a progressive move forward, and there are benefits to it, and I support the cause. I just feel that with the country in the shape it is in, and with the troubles our next president is going to have to face, the changes of skin color or genitals are ultimately superficial changes, as in the end they are all politicians, all proven to be capable of the challenges of public office. The real change that needs to go into effect are philosophical and policy changes, an effort to shape the future of our nation, and like Howard Dean in 2004, that is what John Edwards represented in this election, and that is what has been lost in his departure from it.
In the wake of his departure, I now wait for Hilary or Barack to show me something besides what is wrong with the other, because I really want to know what they have planned, not as primary candidates, but as presidential ticket candidates, and as presidents. Hopefully that will include the message that Edwards has fought so hard to bring to the surface, of health care reform, of the poverty epidemic that gets worse every year, issues that his presence in the campaign thus far will make it hard for them to ignore. And here's hoping we see his name on the bottom half of a ticket, and the top in 8 more years.
But with the departure of John Edwards from the Democratic presidential campaign yesterday, I find myself with no other subject to think as deeply about. It bothers me on a level I'm not even sure I understand yet, not even so much that Edwards dropped out, but the circumstances leading up to why he did.
John Edwards was my 'guy,' for the entire length of this campaign, and in fact I would go so far as to say I had him in my mind as the 08 Candidate during the 04 election, when I had the opportunity to see the Senator speak here in Columbus, following the first debate between Senator Kerry and President Bush. It was there on the waterfront in front of COSI, that I started to suspect that we had perhaps backed the wrong horse. Granted, at the time, Kerry had just wiped the floor with Bush in the debate and myself, along with the rest of the Dems in attendance of the rally, were fairly confident we had the election won. But there was something in the way John Edwards spoke that night, a level of charisma and conviction to his words that made me wish he had been the first name on the ticket. Assuming at the time that Kerry would win in 04, I was already picturing the Edwards 2012 campaign signs in my head (obviously in my fantasy, Kerry was a 2-termer.)
We all know how the 2004 election turned out, and it was in the wake of the election that I was then certain that Edwards was my guy. When the votes had not been fully counted, and there was suspicion of tampering in several Ohio counties, Kerry conceded. This action enraged me, and it enraged Edwards, who openly criticized his now-former running mate. Whether or not Kerry would have ultimately proven to be the loser was not the point, the point was that these men had campaigned on a ticket of fighting what they believed to be a wrong course for America, and Kerry knuckled under. Edwards wanted to keep fighting.
And in the build up to the 2008 campaign, it was this fighting attitude that made me lean towards Edwards when the media had already began prepping for a 2-candidate race between Hilary and Obama. Edwards ran the kind of campaign that people always claim to want, being one that focused on the issues and focusing his anger and fighting spirit towards what needed to be done about them, as opposed to what was simply wrong with his opponents. In the Democratic debate held on Martin Luther King, Edwards was the voice of reason, between a bickering set of frontrunners. His comment that his opponents back and forth was doing nothing to put food in the mouths of starving children, was to this viewer, the key moment of the debate, and yet in the vast majority of the media coverage of said debate, Edwards' presence was an afterthought, the fight between Hilary and Barack was apparently a more fun story.
What troubles me about the Edwards concession is that it is this media blackout on his campaign that forced it to be so. There are plenty of theorists online who suggest that the source of this blackout is a corporate media conspiracy to keep him from getting the ticket, as his populist message could pose a true threat to their status quo, especially as polls show he is capable of defeating every single republican candidate in the general election. I do not know how much stock I put in said theory, it has merit I suppose and frankly I've had the "liberal media" line shoved down my throat so many times that I challenge someone to try to claim that it isn't possible. If it can be argued that there is a media conspiracy powerful enough to push the leftist agenda, it is just as plausible, perhaps even more so, to say the same could go for the right.
But for me, I don't think the sin of media coverage in this election is an attempt to push a specific agenda, as much as it is the very troublesome problem with news coverage in general, in that the hotter story now is more important than the better story. In starting to write this blog, I had to actually dig deep to find any sort of information on what Barack, Hilary, Romney, or McCain actually think about any issues. All that is on the surface is that both Barack and Hilary are fans of "change," and the other offers false change. Romney and McCain, one of them is too conservative, or not conservative enough, depending on what day of the week it is.
The other thing that damned the Edwards campaign, is something that was at the very heart of what he was trying to accomplish. Edwards, by virtue of his refusal to take money from special interest groups, was unable to raise the level of money required to really take on either of his Democratic opponents. Without the support of media coverage, and the inability to finance his own advertising at the level of Hilary and Obama, he was forced into the distant third role, and written off, with most voters unaware that he was really even in it.
And that really doesn't sit well with me. I am tired of the way that in this country, politics have become a cult of personality that in no way have anything to do with ones own issues. I'm not saying that Edwards was absolutely the best candidate for everyone, in fact I know he was very opposable by people who favor conservative systems, but at least he had issues, at least he had a platform. When did we, as a country, stop caring about what our leaders actually think about? When did we just sit back and let 24-hour news tell us who the frontrunners are before a single vote has been cast?
We continue to allow things that at the end of the day are not the real important issues to be the things that dominate the race. In 2004, it was gay marriage, an issue pretty much untouched, even though it defined the voter turnout. Now the buzz points for the Democratic side seem to be making a change in race or gender. I get it, a black or female president is a progressive move forward, and there are benefits to it, and I support the cause. I just feel that with the country in the shape it is in, and with the troubles our next president is going to have to face, the changes of skin color or genitals are ultimately superficial changes, as in the end they are all politicians, all proven to be capable of the challenges of public office. The real change that needs to go into effect are philosophical and policy changes, an effort to shape the future of our nation, and like Howard Dean in 2004, that is what John Edwards represented in this election, and that is what has been lost in his departure from it.
In the wake of his departure, I now wait for Hilary or Barack to show me something besides what is wrong with the other, because I really want to know what they have planned, not as primary candidates, but as presidential ticket candidates, and as presidents. Hopefully that will include the message that Edwards has fought so hard to bring to the surface, of health care reform, of the poverty epidemic that gets worse every year, issues that his presence in the campaign thus far will make it hard for them to ignore. And here's hoping we see his name on the bottom half of a ticket, and the top in 8 more years.
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