You can't go home again

Last night was the "Northberg Reunion" show here in Columbus. The Northberg was a bar that ran a comedy open mic show for a little over 5 years, and was the first place I did a real show, after attending the workshop at the FunnyBone. When the Northberg closed I was pretty bummed, even going so far as to once create a web page that served as a memorial site to the show. I was there every tuesday for a couple years, and the closing of the bar marked the beginning of a very bad time in comedy in Columbus, when there were rarely any shows in town and the ones we did get had no audiences or support from the bars hosting them.

But of course everything is better in our memories and the Northberg is ultimately no different. While I did feel a certain level of glee as I stepped down the stairs and into the room, passing through that doorway as I did so many times before, it very quickly dawned on me that the place I cut my teeth was no longer there. Sure, it was shaped the same, and the comics hung out in relatively the same space, but it was not the Northberg, it wasn't even a bar. It was the downstairs party room for a pizza restaurant. The walls were cleanly painted, the pool table and dart boards were gone, as was the stage and the sound booth.

And of course, the thing missing the most was the crowds. Sure there was an audience, a decent one even. But aside from a handful, friends of comedians, probably looking for nostalgia as much as we were, the crowd was there more for the band playing or just because. The "reunion" aspect was a little flawed in this sense, as it was the same comics we still see at shows all over town, and ultimately it ended up feeling like just another long open mic.

And maybe that's part of the issue. At the time of the Northberg's heyday, it was sort of the only frame of reference I had for an open mic night, and in memory I of course upped its plusses and glossed over its flaws. But now, there are three regular shows in town, between tuesdays at the Scarlet and Grey, the first true replacement, Andyman's on thursday which is still finding its way but has a lot of promise, and of course the weds show at Surly Girl, which along with its predecessor at the St. James Tavern, is the show that for me now feels like home the way that basement on Frambes used to when I began. The place where I shape my voice as a comic.

On top of that, last night I did one of my worst sets in a long, long time. Not even bad because of any problem from the crowd, instead I simply managed to find some sort of brain freeze moment where, not unlike my worst dreams, I could not remember the next thing I wanted to say, trapped in a loop of trying to jog my memory and feeling the tension continue to rise. Odd of course for this to happen in the same room where years ago I would be in this same position just trying to figure out what I have to say to begin with.

Such Great Heights

Last year I celebrated my singledom on Valentine's Day by sitting at home, having a few beers, and watching both 'Kill Bill' movies back to back. Ah, romance. This year though, I went out. Lauren: The Fake Girlfriend and I went to see 'Vertigo' at the Wexner center at Ohio State. Nothing says "Love is in the air," like a classic film about a murdered wife and a truly creepy ex-cop trying to shape a living woman into the dead one that he loved.

The first time I saw 'Vertigo' was in my Hitchcock class senior year, which was one of the best classes I ever took during college. Mark Conroy, the professor, had very strong theories about the structure of Hitchcock's movies, and he wore black the day we discussed Vertigo because it was the first of Alfred's movies that stopped applying said structure. This was also the class where my friend and I, noticed other students were bringing in food to eat during the movie, decided to send our friend Stefanie to Buffalo Wild Wings before class to enjoy during the movie. Unfortunately the movie that day was 'Frenzy,' which was without a doubt the hardest movie to watch and enjoy wings with. Had we watched 'The Birds,' at least we could have felt some sort of vengeful delight in our snack of choice. This event did however earn me the nickname "Hot Wings" from another girl in our class.

So some things I learned last night during the screening:

1.) When a Wexner center box office employee accidentally charges your Debit card $70 instead of $7, do not believe his colleague when she assures you that the immediate refund credit will ensure that it "won't even be noticeable." It really sucks later when you realize that your checking account is now $70 lighter and will be for the next few days before the credit gets applied back. Thanks jackass. At least I didn't need that money this weekend while going out of town for a gig. Oh wait, I did. Way to fail at the only thing your job entails.

2.) Hipsters are really annoying. If you don't like the movie, fine, but don't be a dick about it. The people behind me kept talking throughout the movie, and kept kicking the chairs of myself and Lauren. There's an exit, you can go if you want. Don't ruin the movie for me and the other people who appreciate a classic work of cinema, and a groundbreaking work from an important filmmaker. Conroy's black blazer demands respect, now go home and shave your beard and leave us be!

3.) Kim Novak's eyebrow pencil is truly disturbing, especially when she's a brunette.

4.) I forgot, Jimmy Stewart can be really really creepy. Oh sure, he seems sweet enough with his body of work, luring you in with tales of a wonderful life, and you get really worried when he's being dangled out a rear window, but I certainly wouldn't want him to take me shopping for a new dress suit. And if he asks you to go view San Juan Bautista, for God's sake stay out of the bell tower!

Also, was Jimmy Stewart ever actually credited as "Jimmy"? I have never heard him called "James," ever by anyone in any conversation, yet I have never seen him credited as anything but "James Stewart." Do you think 20-30 years we'll only refer to Sylvester Stallone as "Sly" or Tom Cruise as "Batshit crazy"?

Best. News. Ever.

Compliments of my friend Travis over at SSBW.

Seriously, awesome.